Link reblogged from thrylling nonsense! with 21 notes
thrylling nonsense!: THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME →
Well, it’s that time of the night where I’ve consumed enough poison to have self esteem, and so I’m going to shove this down your throats:
MURDER SQUAD is finally going to get some goddamn Hollywood meetings!
You want to know why I’m so poor? It’s because I sank all of my money into this…
Source: thethryll
Photo reblogged from Marisa Was Here. with 12 notes
Impromptu Metallica with @ritleysammich. We are awesome.
Source: marisa-was-here
Link reblogged from yucky with 112 notes
yucky: OCCUPY TWITTER!!! →
I haven’t spoken on this subject in awhile, and I haven’t felt like I’ve needed to. I’ve been seeing a lot of backlash on Twitter/Tumblr/Favstar against tweeters who have a lot of followers, or are considered “popular tweeters.” The important thing to remember is, everyone starts at zero. Everyone…
Source: pinktowels
Link reblogged from Stuff to Look At. with 54 notes
Stuff to Look At.: 10 Half Written Tweets I Will Never Finish →
Sometimes I will have an idea for a joke or I’ll come up with late at night or I’ll jot something down first thing in the morning when I wake up and have no idea what it means later. Here are ten of those half written tweets that I will never finsih.
1. Orlando Bloom as Legolas in my ass…
Link reblogged from Apocrypha with 16 notes
Apocrypha: On Taking Risks →
Sweet Jesus, an actual post on my poor, neglected Tumblr - I’ll keep this short, I swear.
* * *
We go through a lot of familiar tweets:
“My spirit animal is _____.”
“If you watch ____ backwards…”
“I’m the ____ of _____.”
“Nice try, ____.”
or - the worst and most painfully unfunny -
”____…
Source: miahsaint
Link reblogged from Things that Sound Important-y with 25 notes
Things that Sound Important-y: How to Get Followers on Twitter in 3 Easy Steps!! →
People ask me frequently about how to get followers on Twitter. Since I am clearly the world’s leading expert in this field, I put together this handy 3-step guide. Follow these tips and you’ll be on your way to fame, glory, and riches in no time!
1) Tweet Something Hilarious
You just need…
Source: cooltreats
Video reblogged from Robot Laser Hands with 32 notes
Here’s my second time out. I offended the fuck out of people. It was awesome.
Source: cuddlyninja
Video reblogged from Robot Laser Hands with 35 notes
This is my first time ever doing standup. If you want to know how my family rolls, my parents were there and loved it. Twitter people will have heard a few of these jokes :)
Source: cuddlyninja
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